Match up with your Chinese star sign and see which car you’ve been paired up with.
The Tiger
Tigers can be extremely short tempered, excessive in everything they do. As up-front opportunists, they may take their pent-up emotions and aggression into the car with them and become involved in confrontations with other drivers over a parking space which they perceive as belonging to them. Or they may infuriate others when they spot a gap and cut into the traffic queue at the last moment. Tigers are insatiable adventurers and love the thrill of risk-taking, so are most likely to have a disregard for any rules that get in their way – speeding when they are in a hurry or parking in an inappropriate place would be typical behaviour. So charismatic and passionate are they, however, that they would probably be able to charm the traffic warden out of issuing the ticket and into a dinner date instead.
Famous Tiger – Stevie Wonder
The Tiger’s Transport – Lotus Elise
The Rabbit (sometimes known as the Cat or Hare)
Rabbits are the diplomats of society, ambitious, detached and elegant. They cope with difficult situations with logic and courtesy. They will be the drivers who anticipate a road problem ahead, bring down the speed of those vehicles behind and open a gap with a shrug of their shoulders to allow in the “chancers” who have rushed up the outside lane. Their cars, like them, will be ordered and tranquil, they will have regularly updated their knowledge of the Highway Code and will probably have studied advanced driving techniques. They loathe confrontation, however, and will back away from any contention over road space or parking place.
Famous Rabbit – Angelina Jolie
The Rabbit Ride – VW Golf
The Dragon
Flamboyant and energetic, dragons like to be sovereigns in their own kingdoms. They are also excessively stubborn and as drivers rarely admit that they are in the wrong – even when it’s plain to everyone else that this is the case. Their impetuous energy might mean that they take chances – like driving all night and all day to achieve a goal. Like the mythical dragon, they love to confront the “enemy” in battle and are intolerant and impatient of other drivers who get in their way. Once they have conquered their opponents, however, they will flash a stunning smile, which will disarm their actions.
Famous Dragon – Robin Williams
The Dragon’s Den – BMW 3-series
The Snake
Snakes know exactly how to get their own way. Their intelligence allows them to instantly sum up a situation – they say little but possess great wisdom. The snake driver will stand back and allow the traffic warden to give them a lecture and then strike by quoting the exact sub-section of the historic bylaw which allows them to leave their car in that precise spot on the third Thursday of every month beginning with a J. The snake loathes failure and will quietly pre-plan every journey so that he can be there first and score a point over everyone else. They care little about creature comforts and will have negotiated a discount on a sparse but design conscious car.
Famous Snake – Elizabeth Hurley
Snake’s whip – Fiat 500
The Rat
Rats enjoy life’s pleasures. Magnetic and charming, rats often make friends with others who might benefit them. The rat may have cultivated a keen acquaintance with a car dealer who can get them a good deal or a police officer whose brains they can pick on traffic issues. Skill as a strategist contributes to the rat’s success in life and as a driver – their quick wit enables them to find the quickest “rat run” around the car park to the only remaining parking space. But their intolerance to boredom and lack of tenacity means that they probably pull out of a traffic jam and go for a coffee until the congestion has cleared.
Famous Rat – Prince Charles
Rat Runaround – Smart Fortwo
The Ox (or Buffalo)
The ox’s physical and mental strengths mean that they never back down. Their driving skills will be solid and determined and while slow to anger, their stubbornness and fierce temper when roused means that they will face any confrontation head on. If another driver cuts them up, the ox will have no hesitation in telling them the error of their ways. The ox will be one of the safest drivers on the road but their pedestrian pace and love for home comforts may infuriate others when they insist on travelling by country roads and stopping for sustenance every hour.
Famous Ox – Sigourney Weaver
The Ox Cart – Volvo Estate
The Horse
The symbol of all happiness in China, horses are loyal and elegant. One of the horse’s biggest failings, however, is impatience. As drivers, horses will be infuriated by traffic delays and are likely to impetuously decide to take a short cut across a field rather than wait in a queue. They hate to take advice from anyone and may disregard the wisdom of authorities when told not to travel or ignore the traffic broadcast telling them of delays. They love to travel and, not surprisingly for such swift animals, probably love to drive fast too but get excessively bored motoring on the same routes so will be constantly trying out new ones.
Famous Horse – Barbra Streisand
The Horse Carriage – Land Rover Discovery
The Goat (or Sheep)
The goat adores idleness, loathes work and is very bored by everyday routine. Driving probably falls into this category so the goat’s ideal would be to be transported as a passenger. As goats also have a love of luxury and constantly strive to be taken care of, however, they are less likely to wait at the bus stop for public transport and more likely to prevail on a richer friend for a lift or, ultimately, to be driven by a chauffeur. Most goats are too pre-occupied with artistic thought to concentrate on mechanical skills like driving and would be puzzled as to why anyone want to be bothered learning such a mundane thing.
Famous Goat – Bill Gates
The Goat Getaround – In their dreams a luxury limo, in reality, a mini-cab or friend’s car
The Monkey
Said to be the cleverest sign of the Chinese zodiac, the monkey is also the most crafty, imaginative and mischievous. They want to be first at any price and will do anything to achieve it. It is the monkey driver who will attempt to weave in and out of the traffic to reach the head of the line. If confronted by another driver for their audacity, however, monkeys will attempt to extract themselves from the awkward situation with servility and flattery. If that fails they will resort to humour, then downright lies or even tears. They will jump from one lane to another, attempt reckless shortcuts and arrogant overtaking. They like to flaunt their success in the cars as an exterior sign of their value.
Famous Monkey – Diana Ross
The Monkey mobile – Mini Cooper
The Rooster
Vain and precocious, the strutting rooster likes to parade ostentatiously in public. They are the drivers who are most likely to sport a personalised number plate featuring their own name emblazoned on a flash car. But they are more concerned in looks than content and get depressed if they are not the centre of attention. They are likely to have meaningless “add-on” to their cars – the biggest spoilers, shiniest alloys, most noticeable colour – but are more interested in show than quality. They are however, real conformists and will never break a speed limit because they fear the consequences.
Famous Rooster – Jayne Mansfield
The Rooster rocket – Lamborghini Gallardo
The Dog
Dogs are loyal, can be eccentric and always expect the worst from others – they are deeply distrustful of anyone they don’t know. As motorists, these expectations are often met – and when other drivers behave badly, dogs are always prepared for it. They are never surprised to be tailgated by a bigger vehicle and are never caught off guard as they have already identified a gap in the inside lane. Fiercely altruistic and defensive of other’s rights, they will quickly report a driver endangering others or tackle him themselves. Careful and honest, they will track down the best bargains when buying a car.
Famous Dog – Jane Asher
Dog Kennel – Dacia Duster
The Pig (or Boar)
Pigs hate artifice, lies and hypocrites. If they go through an amber light, they agonise about it for weeks. At roadworks they sit for an extra ten minutes while they allow other drivers to go before them. They are incapable of saying no and often get lumbered with taxi-ing the whole neighbourhood around. Power games on the road re-vile them and they operate to their own strict code of conduct and will duck out of any confrontational situation. They love the pleasures of life but are unconcerned with money or appearance – even in their car.
Famous pig – Emma Thomson
The Pig Pen – Renault Clio
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